You are more important
by DaftCat
Summary: John falls pregnant but refuses to speak to Shelrock about it after he finds out, Meanwhile Shelrock is left confused and worried, trying to make sure John is ok. What will happen after the birth when Sherlock discovers who the true father is? Sherlock/John.
1. I'm pregnant

Both men were exhausted after running up and down a stoney beach all day trying to solve the case of a woman dressed as a mermaid that had been found dead. While Sherlock was still buzzing, John however felt awful, his back was hurting, his legs were hurting, he was incredibly tired and worst of all he felt sick. As soon as the two entered the apartment, John rushed to the bathroom to throw up. A very confused Sherlock stopped hanging his coat and turned to Johns direction.

"John are you alright?"

Sherlock abandoned his coat and rushed to the bathroom door

"John?!" ... "Are you alright?!"

He heard a strained heave followed by a muffled miserable groan from inside the bathroom

"Never bett-" another heave followed by john spitting

"Whats wrong?"

after a pause and the sound of John trying to catch his breath, he replied

"Nothing, Just felt sick from the cab.. thats all"

Shelrock backed away for the door slightly

"Do you need anything?"

John coughed a bit more before flushing the toilet and opening the door, he looked awful

"No, thankyou, I'm going to bed"

"Oh, well if you-"

"I'm alright Sherlock" John snapped

Shelock was left standing there, confused as ever, trying to dedut the situation, it wasnt working

* * *

It was about 11 o'clock at night, Sherlock had dozed off reading something on the sofa, which was very unlike him.

He was woken up by the bathroom door locking, followed by the sound of heaving.

He jumped up, staggering a bit and made his way over to the bathroom and knocked on the door

"John?"

John groaned, he couldn't get just one moment of privacy in their flat

"John are you alright?"

John coughed and spluttered for a moment waiting for his stomach to settle, before coming to the door and unlocking it. He paused before opening it to Sherlock's inquisitive face. John was surprised, very surprised actually, that he hadn't picked up on this sooner.

"Are you alright?"

John took a while before answering, peicing his words together.

"I'm pregnant"


	2. it's a boy

20 weeks on and it had become apparent to Sherlock that John was keeping the baby. John was refusing to speak about his condition, other than when he had a symptom such as feeling sick or tiredness. Other than that he was determined to keep Sherlock in the dark. As far as who the father was, Sherlock was clueless, this was one thing that was proving impossible to deduct.

* * *

This was one of the rare occasions John has decided to come with Sherlock to the one of their cases. They were back at the same beach, where more evidence had been found, another corpse, this one however was covered in markings and blisters, they had been there for about 2 hours and it was clear that John as getting tired.

"Oo.."

Sherlock heard John suddenly exclaim from behind him

"John? Are you alright"

Oh that question, as much as John was grateful for Sherlock's 24/7 concern, it would sometimes get on his nerves.

"Are you alright?" he came up to him and took both of his arms looking him in the eyes

"No, I'm fine, it's just never kicked before.."

"Oh..."

John was quick to comment "It's fine, it just feels a bit weird"

"We'll go back home in 10 minutes"

John gazed at him in surprise

"No I don't mean you have to come away from-"

John was cut off by Sherlock spinning round to face him

"You and your baby are more important than some stupid blistered corpse on a beach John"

John couldn't help but half-smile

"Oh, thankyou"

John felt confused at Sherlock's sudden array of affection for his condition.

* * *

Once they were home John sunk into the arm-chair and sighed laying his head back, one hand on his 20 week bump

All Sherlock wanted to do was talk to him, ask him questions, he even had an urge to feel his bump. he didn't know why he was getting so attached

He heard John sigh "are you alright?"

"Yes Sherlock I'm fine,, thankyou, you will be the first to know if I'm not"

He heaved himself up from the chair

"Here"

John offered his hand out to Sherlock, who cautiously took it. He pressed Sherlock's hand into his bump, he could feel a small fluttering and a nudge on the palm of his hand...

He relaxed and pressed his hand into his belly even more, John smirked.

* * *

Sherlock had gotten more comfortable leaving John in the flat if he was too tired to participate, as long as they text almost constantly. This was getting on Lestrade's nerves.

"Sherlock I'm sure the mans fine"

"Can never be too sure" Sherlock replied

"Sherlock I really don't think-"

Sherlock's phone buzzed, It was another text from John

...

_Somethings wrong_

* * *

The next day at the flat Lestrade had come to see how John was doing after yesterdays events. John had started to feel dizzy and couldn't shake it off, After he had called the doctor, eaten properly, calmed Sherlock down and had plenty of rest he was feeling fine.

"I'm sorry Sherlock's been a bit distracted by me, I have told him not to text me at work" John apologised to Lestrade

"No its fine, I know what he's like... how are you feeling? I came to see how you are more than anything"

"Ok thanks, better than yesterday"

"What happened? Sherlock won't say much"

"Oh it was nothing really I feel stupid now"

"Try me"

John paused

"I was just feeling dizzy"

John looked up to see Lestrade smirking at him

"Look I told you it was stupid, I wont bother him again at work unless it's important"

"I'm not smirking at that... never mind, I'll be back later, take care of yourself John"

"Will do" John replied before Lestrade left their flat

John reached to text Sherlock, who had gone out to actually do the shopping for them, especially after yesterday he wanted to make sure they were always well stocked, when he heard the door unlock, Sherlock came in with shopping bags and dumped them on the kitchen counter.

I was just thinking Sherlock... I really hate ice cream

"What?"

"Oh nothing, I just ... hate ice cream"

"Right, well don't worry I havent bought any"

Both men started to laugh

"These bloody hormones, doing my head in" John complained

"All normal John!, You'll be back to normal once the babies born"

John nodded "Hmm"

* * *

Sherlock jumped up when he heard the door unlocking to the flat, and in walked John, just one week more pregnant. He had been to his 21 week scan and had banned Sherlock from coming with him.

"So..is everything ok?"

"Yes, He's just fine"

Sherlock's eyes widened "What?"

"It's a boy"


	3. You're more important

"Ow Damn my head!" John bellowed through the apartment

"John calm down" Sherlock was trying to reassure his flat mate

"Sherlock I don't think you quite grasp how- OWW!"

At 34 weeks John was getting headaches, bad ones. He had been in bed for the past few days with Sherlock trying to get him to eat and drink.

John continued to squeeze his eyes shut whilst clutching the back of the chair before moaning miserably and holding his back.

Then Sherlock did something, that neither of them ever saw happening since the day they met. Sherlock moved in close to John, and took him into his arms, allowing Johns head to rest on his chest.

John would have felt awkward if it hadn't been for the fact it was making him miraculously feel better. the sound of Sherlock heartbeat and his chest moving with each breath. Sherlock relied on john to let him know when he had had enough, since this was a first for him.

* * *

Lestrade had come round to check on both of them, since he hadn't even heard from Sherlock in the past couple of weeks

"Whats going on with him?" Lestrade asked

"What Sherlock?"

"He has turned two cases down and ignored the other one, i thought something terrible must have happened"

John who was genuinely confused replied "I didn't even know about any cases, nothings happened"

Lestrade sighed, "Well Can you talk to him?"

"Yeah no sure, no problem" John nodded

"Thanks" he turned to leave "Look after yourself"

John was left on his own feeling very confused. He decided to text Sherlock

...

_We need to talk, come back soon _

* * *

Later that evening, John was again getting frustrated by his condition

"Come on baby..." John muttered, one hand on his bump praying for his son to settle down.

It was starting to become a real fight for space as the baby was growing. His bump was double the size of when he was 20 weeks, but still only a small one for his number of weeks. He was lying on the sofa with a blanket, a blanket he assumed Sherlock had laid over him when he had dozed off earlier.

Sherlock came in and to john's surprise, didn't sit in the arm chair opposite, but instead came to kneel next to him, offering him a glass of water.

"Thankyou"

When he was drinking, he noticed Sherlock eyeing up his bump, John again, gestured for his hand, Sherlock pressed his hand straight into Johns bump, a small smile curled up in the corner of his mouth.

"Lestrade came today, he wants me to ask you whats going on"

Sherlock's smile faded

"Whats going on Sherlock, You've turned down cases?"

John got no reply

"I mean if this is because of me-"

"You have always been, more important John"

Sherlock stated before getting up and going to his bedroom

John had never been left truly speechless before, in other situations he has had several ideas of what to say, but this was different, he had every emotion, even fear, running through his head, but no thought process.


	4. Frustration

A few days had gone by and neither men had commented on Sherlock's earlier statement. John hadn't really had time to ponder about it since his symptoms seemed to be taking over, he had started to feel sexually frustrated and became embarrassed every time Sherlock picked up on it, hence the visible erection pressed against the inside of his trousers.

However that morning, it had gotten so bad if it wasn't for Sherlock's normal boring waves of information he felt he could cum right there in his own pants.

It was past midnight and Sherlock had let John sleep in his bedroom because the extra stairs were getting too much every day.

At about half past 1 in the morning, Sherlock was still awake, messing about with the Television, He heard John come out of his bedroom.

"Are you alright?" Came the usual question aimed at John every 5 minutes

"Yes I'm fine, I can't sleep, were just fighting for space."

Sherlock looked at Johns bump cautiously

"Watch telly with me for a bit if you want.." Sherlock offered

John smiled gratefully and sat down next to him, he groaned, sighed and rubbed his bump. He looked down at it, tapping it with his finger tips. He could feel his son move against the walls of his belly, kicking, wriggling about.

"Have you thought of any names?"

it suddenly occurred to John he was going to have to call his baby something... how on earth had he missed that out?

"Oh, well you know... not really no"

"I have always liked the sound of Hunter..." Sherlock suggested

"I don't think I could look at a tiny baby and call it Hunter Sherlock"

"It wont always be a tiny baby though John"

John smirked and sighed

"Yes, thankyou, Mr obvious"

* * *

They sat and watched late night telly for a bit before both drifting off next to each other.

Sherlock took in a deep breath and sighed loudly.

The vibration through the air from Sherlock's baritone vocal chords sent a shudder down Johns spine. He felt another wave of arousal flow over his body, he rolled his eyes, _not again_.

After fighting it for about 15 minutes, he couldn't hold off anymore

John lay his head down onto Sherlock's chest, he needed desperately to feel close to him. The vibrations that ran through Sherlock's chest with each breath were too much for him. He didn't even need to intervene with his genitalia, he could feel himself rising further towards the end. with a deep grunt and a groan from Sherlock in his sleep, it was too much. He saw stars as he started to ejaculate, he couldn't hide is moans of pleasure from escaping his lips.

"Shhch..Shherl..Sheerllochhh"

Sherlock stirred at the noise, he began to wake up grouchily soon realising the noise had come from John, he jumped straight into action fearing the worst

"I'm fine, I think I must have been dreaming" John explained hurriedly

John cringed at the uncomfortable feeling he know had between his legs.

"I'm going to take a shower."

"What... now?" Sherlock questioned, looking at the time

"Yes now" John replied almost sharply

Sherlock thought nothing of it, he was used to John having mixed up routines depending on how he felt, he decided not to question any further.

Once he was in the shower, John was left alone with his own thoughts. _Ok, _he thought to himself, _what the hell was that ?!_


	5. Braxton hick's

_36 weeks_

If John could have paced the apartment he would have done, he was so sick of being stuck on his own in the flat, ever since Lestrade had been on to him Sherlock had made an effort to take up cases and John would be left with his own company. He was left with his own thoughts circling around his head, he had so much to think about, decisions about the baby, a name being one of them.

He sat in his usual place on the sofa, one hand feeling his son kick and the other messing with his laptop on the small table next to him. All he wanted to do was text Sherlock to come back home, but he didn't dare, he had promised himself not to unless it was something important.

He looked at the clock, Sherlock wasn't due back for another 3 hours.

As he sat there watching bad day-time television, he was once again left alone with his own thoughts, he kept trying to distract himself. He tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair, his attention soon turning back to his sons movements. He still hadn't really felt any true emotion for his situation, he knew he was going to love his son, but as far as money, work, future... he hadn't really thought it through.

There were a lot of things he didn't want to think about, such as the embarrassing event with Sherlock that had happened 2 weeks ago in which he had gotten off to the sound of Sherlock breathing. The sexual frustration had started to wear off, he couldn't face thinking about it. It was just a moment of weakness, the hormones playing with his head, surely if a cat had walked in it would have given him an erection... at least, that's what he kept telling himself.

He gave in and let the thoughts role through him, he even grabbed a pen and made a shortlist of a few names, Hunter was there.

_6:30pm_

John was woken up by the sound of the kettle boiling, he couldn't help but feel uplifted that Sherlock had come back, he was so bored, he would even have played cluedo risking Sherlock having a tantrum when he thought the rules were wrong.

"When did you get back?"

"Hmm?" Sherlock looked up

"I was just wondering when you had gotten back" John asked again, rubbing his face

"Oh just now actually... sorry I'm late did you need anything?"

"Um no, I'm fine" John paused "Actually could I have some water?"

Sherlock walked over to John handing him the glass.

"Is he more settled today?" Sherlock asked frowning

"What? Oh, fine, yeah he's, great" John felt awkward, every time he saw him he just remembered that night.

"Lestrade and Anderson both ask how you are"

"Oh" John replied, confused at a mention of Anderson

"I said you were both fine"

John nodded

"I'm just going to take a shower, do you need anything else?"

John shook his head, even thought he did. A hug.

As John heard the Shower switch on he had another mini think. It felt weird that they were referring to the baby as 'he' already.. all of this was happening too fast. This situation, this mess, if only he could talk to Sherlock.

* * *

_39 weeks_

John wasn't really on speaking terms with Sherlock because he had stated that he thought he knew who the father was. The fact that Sherlock would even go there was offensive for John. Sherlock had apologised several times, but it still got John pissed even to think about it. John wasn't sure why he was letting it bother him this much, this was what Sherlock was like, he knew that... he just assumed it was the hormones taking over.

Sherlock sat in the arm-chair, watching John pace slowly about the kitchen, trying to get through another Braxton hick contraction. He had kept his distance during these ever since John had asked him to a week ago when they started.

"Agh Sherlock!"

Sherlock put down his paper and turned his whole attention towards John

"What do you need me to do"

"I don't know" he groaned miserably "Kuuurhgh" John choked out a sigh of relief as the pain subsided. "I just kept thinking, I have been to Afghanistan, I can have a bloody baby"

Sherlock's face fell soft, he was filled with all these emotions going through him at once that he had never felt before. He felt love, fear, confusion and most of all, doubt. He didn't know what to say to john anymore, in a couple of weeks there was going to be a baby in the apartment, John's baby.

Sherlock's thoughts were interrupted by John calling to him

"Sherlock..."

Sherlock looked up snapping back into conciousness

"I think im having another one.. Please"

John gestured to Sherlock to join him at the kitchen sink. He groaned loudly gritting his teeth, turning pink just like before. He started to pant hard and slowly trying to control his breathing.

"What can I do"

John couldnt reply, he was in far too much pain

For the first time in his life, Sherlock decided to go with what he felt in his heart, what did he have to lose, he wasnt in Johns good books at the moment anyway. He just let his instinct take over, he took John in his arms and.. pressed his lips the side of his head, only very softly, almost unnoticeable... but not unnoticeable enough for John. He waited for the peak of the contraction to subside, before turning to Sherlock, unsure of what to say.

"John, I'm sorry, forgive me" Sherlock stammered

Sherlock left the apartment and stood outside the door. He stood there for a few moments, frozen, emotionless, scared.

John was still standing in the same place as he was, unable to move unable to think. Sherlock had just kissed him.

...

After 10 minutes Sherlock sheepishly let himself back in,

He slowly made his way around the corner to the kitchen

"John, I-"

Sherlock had no words for John anymore. had he ruined everything between them now, the friendship, any connection they had, gone?

"John I apologise that was highly inappropriate"

John didn't reply, instead he remained hunched over the sink, ridged, knuckles white.

Sherlock rushed to him, forgetting about what had just happened

"Whats wrong"

"Arrrghh another one" John growled

Sherlock didn't know what to do, he daren't touch John again... not for a long time

"Look Sherlock, I don't have the energy to think about what just happened Ok? I need to go to bed"


	6. He's coming now

It was the early hours of the morning after Sherlock's 'mistake'

Sherlock was lying on the sofa, he hadn't had much practice with feelings so he was finding this one especially hard. He decided he had to talk to john, even if it meant waking him up. After gathering the courage for another 20 minutes, Sherlock knocked on his own bedroom door where John was currently sleeping. He heard some shuffling and bed springs moving, he gave john as much time as he needed to answer.

John answered, looking incredibly rough and tired

"I am sorry to wake you, but I can't just leave things like that, I shouldn't have done, er, what i did, it was.. highly inappropriate, and-"

Sherlock can we maybe do this some other time

"John this can't wait, what I did, it was-"

John cut him off before he could say any more

"Sherlock It's coming"

Sherlock's face dropped

"What?"

"The baby, He's coming now"

...

"What?"

* * *

John, after several hours of recurring pain, had finally managed to work out that the Braxton hicks, were not Braxton hicks, but instead were real contractions, he had been in labour for three hours.

It had become clear to Sherlock that John was adamant that he didn't want to go to hospital, he wanted to give birth in the flat where he felt most secure.

All Sherlock could do was to phone Johns private doctor for advice, and rub johns back whenever another contraction came. Other than that he felt like an idiot, it was the one thing he didn't hold much knowledge on, other than the basic solar system.

"SHERLOCKK!" John roared through the apartment

Sherlock who was only sitting next to him on the bed, nearly deafened by Johns cries, continued to dig the heel of his hand hard into the small of Johns back.

"you know, I don't think I can do this" John breathed

"Yes you can, nobody ever thinks they can give birth, but they always do, how would we be here now?"

This was the most helpful think John had ever heard Sherlock say to anyone.

John sighed

"That actually helps?"

Sherlock smiled softly, he was just grateful that Johns mind was elsewhere, on the birth, instead of on his earlier actions.

"God Sherlock I need you right now" John managed to gasp out before another one started

Sherlock wasn't sure what to say, or think. But then it hit him, he needed to stop thinking about what his feelings were doing, he needed to put all his mind and focus into what John needed from him.

"I'm always here John"

John buried his face into Sherlock's arm.

"Sherlock about before... I don't want you to worry about it" John thought back to how Sherlock would have reacted if he had woken up whilst he was mid cum. that would have been far worse. So he couldn't really say anything. However, johns actions had been fueled by pregnancy hormones. John didn't have the time to think for long before he needed to move, the pressure was immense.

"I think we should call the doctor out now"

* * *

Johns face was flushed and damp with sweat, he was exhausted, the contractions were on top of each other. He had been in labour for 8 hours and it was taking its toll on his body. he had vomited twice and Sherlock as doing his best to keep him hydrated.

Lestrade had offered to come over incase they needed a hand but Sherlock hadn't had time to reply, instead, Mrs Hudson had got some towels, water and cold cloths for them and left them at the door.

The doctor had finally arrived and was busy taking Johns blood pressure whilst he continued to growl through gritted teeth in pain. Sherlock had rolled up the sleeves of his purple shirt, he was also sweating and getting tired, his hand red from Johns grip.

You are doing really well John, it won't be long I promise"

John looked up to see Sherlock smiling softly at him, trying to reassure him. John managed a weak smile before grunting again, fighting the urge to push.

"Sherlock I need to stand for a moment, please"

Sherlock darted round the bed to help John get up

John gripped each of Sherlock's arms before wrapping his arms around his neck. Sherlock continued to rub his back. Nearly as soon as John had risen from the bed, his water broke, it started dribbling down the inside of his leg before spattering onto the floor... and on Sherlock's shoes.

Almost immediately afterwards John felt himself sinking down to the bed, he couldnt stand anymore, the pressure was unbearable

"Sherlock, i need to push"

* * *

**Birth should be tonight :) was going to just be all in one, but I need to go out , lol :) hope this is up to scratch!**


	7. Connor

Sherlock stood facing John who had sunk back down to sit on the edge of the bed, everything was moving in slow motion, he had no idea what to do, what to say, or even whether he should breathe or not. Doctor Ella came back into the room pulling some latex gloves put of her pocket.

"Excuse me sweetheart" She said nudging Sherlock gently aside "Do you want to sit by him on the bed for a moment and hold his hand?"

She started to poke and prod his bump with her hands

"I need to push" John blurted out

Sherlock sat himself down on the bed next to John allowing him to grip his hand.

"Ok, Sherlock could you fetch some more towels please?" Ella requested

Sherlock ran to the bathroom and grabbed 2 large towels

by the time he had gotten back john was kneeling on the floor facing the bed with both elbows resting ont he mattress, Ella was kneeling next to him with a hand on his back, clearly watching for signs of the head.

John gasped and grunted as he finished pushing through a contraction

Ella looked up and gestured for him to come to her, "You get on the other side of him."

Sherlock placed the towels on the bed and knelt on John right side leaning on the bed.

The curtains were drawn and the room was only lit with a bed side lamp to try and keep him feeling calm.

John felt another contraction coming and choked out a soft moan, he had lost all energy to be vocal, some more waters and blood spilled out onto the floor as he started to crown. Sherlock was fighting the decision whether to look or not. He very quickly decided not too, he needed to concentrate on Johns face right now, not the babies, he let Doctor Ella continue to coach John whilst he held his hand. It was killing Sherlock inside to see John in this way, but all he could think of was that this was positive pain, and he had to be Johns rock until it was over.

John growled through his gritted teeth

"1,2,3,4,5,6,7-"

Ella continued to count to 10 with each push.

"Gahhh" John gasped as Ella got to 10 and he stopped pushing

"John.."

John looked up at Sherlock

Sherlock didn't have any words, but he squeezed Johns hand tighter and gave him that same soft smile which seemed to be the only human facial expression he possessed.

John managed a very weak smile back before getting another contraction, he pushed hard, screaming out

"Sherlock!"

Sherlock couldn't hold back any more, He placed his hand on Johns shoulder and griped firmly, moving in closer, pressing his forehead against his. Instead of feeling awkward, John reached up and gripped Sherlock's arm, digging in his fingers.

"That's the head, come on!" Ella coached softly. She hooked her fingers around the babies neck and started to help ease the baby out

John howled with discomfort as his son turned inside of him.

With a slippery rush, the baby boy turned and fell out of John's body and into Ella's arms. John shifted around to sit on the floor, back against the bed with his legs spread as he was bought up onto his chest. John fought to cath his breath, wheezing, but smiling, relieved it was all over. He calmed down and looked down admiring his son.

Sherlock had no words, he was beautiful.

_12th September 2013 7:30pm _

_Baby Boy_

_6lbs 5oz_

* * *

_8am the next morning _

John was snoozing in his dark blue dressing gown, his son also asleep on his chest dressed in a tiny white baby grow and a blanket.

Lestrade had gotten worried when they hadn't been answering calls so had come over to make sure everything was Ok.

"Lestrade I assure you they are both fine, they are sleeping at the moment, I will call in a few days when he is up for visitors"

Lestrade nodded as he was ushered out of the apartment by Sherlock

He returned to the living area where John was now awake, looking down at his son. He was truly tiny, only one week premature.

John looked up, he saw Sherlock sheepishly looking back at him, he seemed nervous.

"Come on" John gestured for Sherlock to join him on the sofa

Sherlock very carefully made his way to sit next to John

John shifted the babies position slightly so Sherlock could see him properly.

"Connor Hunter Watson"

Sherlock looked up at John looking bewildered

"I did like Hunter, just not for a first name...I have always liked the name Connor, he looks like a Connor..." John trailed off

Sherlock gave John his usual sly smile, before turning his attention back to the baby.

"Sherlock, what did you mean, tell me"

"About what?"

"When you said before, er, about how I have always been...important"

Sherlock closed his eyes

"John I-"

"Sherlock?" Mrs Hudson called him from the hall way

Sherlock jumped up and went to go and see what she wanted

John sighed, this man was impossible.

* * *

_2 weeks later_

There had been an array of visitors bringing small gifts for the baby, cards and just to see if the men needed any help. John was still recovering from the pregnancy, getting used to life as one person again.

Sherlock was asleep with Connor on his chest, dresssed in a 'too big' yellow baby grow. John smirked, however they did look adorable. He shook his head and went to sit next to them. Sherlock woke up and passed John the baby. John laid the him down vertically across his lap so they could look at his face.

"Sherlock, it's Anderson."

"What?"

"Connor's Father"


	8. I love you

John felt terrified, he brought Connor up onto his chest, holding him close, fearing Sherlock was going to explode at him

"Anderson?"

John feared that Sherlock was going to dash out the apartment to find Anderson, but instead, he just sat there, not saying a word. John didn't know whether this was better or worse. All he knew was that it scared him.

"Sherlock, I will tell you what happened, just please stop doing that its freaking me out"

Sherlock snapped out of it and looked up at John's face.

Once John was sure he had Sherlock's attention, well, as much of it as he was ever going to get he continued

"It was after christmas, when I told you I had gone to see Helen"

Sherlock thought back, oh yes.. Helen, the music teacher.

"She stood me up, I went to a bar for a drink, Anderson was there"

Sherlock looked up, grimacing at Anderson's name

"What happened?"

"He kept looking at me, not like that... just, I could tell he kept glancing at me, and then he came over, we got talking, and then... he kissed me"

He paused

"I was very drunk so i kissed him back, I was only half aware of who it"

He paused again whilst Sherlock nodded

"We got a cab back to his, he said he had some more beer and, well I didn't really care where I was going or who I was going with at the time."

Connor gurgled and wriggled about trying to get comfortable

"Sherlock I love my son I don't care who he's come from"

"What happened" Sherlock urged John to continue

John sighed, and continued his story

"When we got back, we did open a few beers, but he kept touching my face and asking me if i was Ok. I was so drunk i didn't realise we had got to the bedroom, but next thing i knew my jeans were gone and Anderson was on top of me, i told him no but then i just let him do it. It didn't mean anything"

"He raped you?"

John froze

"No...it was more of a one night stand"

"John, you said no and he carried on, he raped you"

"No we were both drunk"

"You may have been drunk, how do you know Anderson was, did you see him drink anything?"

John thought back, He had only seen him have the one beer, he was steady on his feet... he had held him tight down on to the bed... gripping at his chest and legs, holding him down, it hadn't been gentle either. He had blacked out half way through, he had woken up to find him gone, he had dressed and left for their flat, Sherlock assuming he had stayed the night with Helen.

John still couldn't admit that he had been raped, he just couldn't see it that way, He couldn't get raped he was an ex soldier, he had more common sense than that.

John started to shut down. His body fell limp, Sherlock quickly took Connor from his arms and shifted to sit right next to John so he could lie in to him

John began to sob

Sherlock's heart exploded in his chest, he used his free arm to pull John close, foreheads once again pressed close.

"John I am always here, you are safe with me"

John found himself snuggling into Sherlock's grasp

After John had taken a moment to find comfort and calm down he asked

"Are you going to kill Anderson?"

Sherlock took a deep breath

"I will do what you want me to do"

* * *

2 weeks had gone by, Connor was now 1 month old, but still teeny, and Sherlock had finally called Lestrade and let him visit. To their surprise, Donovan came with him.

"Aww, he is cute though John, besides it's never been you i had the problem with" Donovan looked sideways at Sherlock

"He's alright you know"

"hmm?"

"He's a good man, he has really been there for me"

she nodded, "Hm, I've heard"

John smirked and rolled his eyes

"Well take care of yourself John"

she left the apartment

Lestrade finished talking to Sherlock and came over to john, He beamed when he saw Connor

"You both alright?"

"Er, yes, more tired than anything"

John looked past Lestrade at Sherlock, trying to figure out if he had said anything to Lestrade.

As soon as Lestrade had left, John jumped at the chance to ask Sherlock

"Did you say anything?" John asked eagerly

"No of course not" Sherlock replied, surprised

"Thankyou Sherlock"

John went to place Connor back in his Moses basket

"You need to tell him John"

John turned to face him

"What?"

"You need to tell Anderson"

John sighed

"I know"

* * *

_Later that evening_

John was curled up with a blanket and Connor resting in his lap

Sherlock came in, dressed in a clean shirt and trousers, instead of his usually get up of pyjamas, or a sheet. The room was dimly lit by a few side lamps, it was very peaceful, quiet, relaxed environment, for once.

"Evening dear" John smirked at him

All Sherlock could manage to do back was weakly smile, he seemed to be acting very shy

"Whats up with you?"

Sherlock came closer, he sat on the arm of the sofa John was sitting on.

"John, about what I said before"

John yawned

"Sherlock it doesn't matter, honestly"

"You have always been important to me, more than anything ever had been, apart from my work"

John stared at Sherlock, he wasn't sure what to say back

"Sherlock, honestly.. it's-"

"I love you"

John stared at the wall before turning his head slowly, blinking at Sherlock

"I love you John, I always have done"

Sherlock cautiously moved closer to him, John didn't move a muscle, he stared into Sherlock's blue eyes. Sherlock knelt beside him and took his hand

"I'm sorry" Sherlock began to apologise, regretting his actions immediately

"No, I-... I love you too Sherlock"

Both men gazed into each others eyes for a few moments, before Sherlock leaned in, and softly pressed his lips into John's

"Marry me John"

* * *

A week went by, and the birth certificate had been filled out, it read,

_Connor Hunter Watson-Holmes_

_Born 12th September, 2013_

_Sex Male_

_Father John Watson_

_Father Sherlock Holmes_


	9. He's not your son anymore

**I do apologise for any mistakes or things that seem rushed. This was purely, well, rushed. Anythign that bad let me know and i'll change it.**

* * *

Connor was now 8 weeks old, John had decided he was going to have to tell Anderson. The men had decided at least this way they would have to have some extra financial support. John just wanted to forget about telling him, he had Connor and Sherlock, that was all that counted, he didn't want Anderson in Connors life.

Nothing had much changed in the men's relationship, they had been interrupted yet again by a phone call from Mycroft shortly after Sherlock's proposal to John. Nothing had been said about it after that John was only half sure he had heard him right.

Sherlock was determined to get an answer out of John, he wondered if he should just wait, or propose again, maybe do it properly this time.

"So..." Sherlock looked into Johns eyes from across the room

"So... what?" John replied

"What did you think about... I mean, about-"

"About what Sherlock?" John was playing with him, seeing if he would crack.

John felt a tug at his heart strings as he could visibly Sherlock's heart sink. John was about to say he was only playing, when there was a knock at the door.

"Sherlock, you're needed at the station" it was Lestrade

Sherlock didn't even say goodbye, he just left with Lestrade...John felt awful

_In the police car_

"Sherlock what's wrong with you?" asked Lestrade

"What?"

"You never get into the car with me, you always get a taxi"

Sherlock didn't reply

"Is everything ok?"

Sherlock still didn't respond. To be truthful, he was fighting back tears.

As soon as they got to the station Sherlock headed for the mens

Sherlock almost gasped relief, his bladder had been full for about an hour, he was so nervous about John he kept forgetting. He exhaled loudly phone buzzed, he finished peeing and washed his hands before reading the text.

_Yes x JW_

_What? SH_

_I will marry you Sherlock, from your John x x_

* * *

Later that evening when Sherlock was due back, John was sitting reading a book, tiny Connor in the Moses basket next to the sofa when he heard the door unlock.

Sherlock didn't bother taking his coat, he walked straight up to John, John didn't have much time to react before Sherlock gently climbed on top of him.

"Sherlock what are you.."

there was some muffled kissing sounds and the sound of zips and clothing being removed and placed on the floor.

...

As the men lay with each other on the sofa, nose to nose, fresh from their climax, full of love for one another, there was a knock at the door.

Sherlock pulled his boxers back and dressing gown back on before heading tot he door leaving John to rest.

He pulled the door open

"Anderson?"

Sherlock gazed, his stomach tensing up at the sight before him

"I want to see my son"

Sherlock was speechless,

"Get out of here, NOW!" Sherlock roared

John heard the racket and jumped up, he threw his robe back on and went to the door to find Sherlock grasping Anderson around the throat.

"Whats going on?!"

Sherlock backed away from him

"oh come on John, I've seen the picture he looks just like me

John felt himself going funny again.

"Anderson get out NOW"

Anderson refused to budge

"I'm calling Lestrade" Sherlock whipped out his phone

"Sherlock, it is his son, I can't stop him."

* * *

The three men sat in the living area of the apartment. Connor was still in the Moses basket next to John.

"John I thought you wanted it, I don't do things like that, it was a one night stand."

"I told you to stop" John defended

Anderson just sat their staring at him

"I want to see my son"

"He's not your son anymore" Sherlock said without thinking

Anderson sat back in his chair.

"Of course he's my son"

Sherlock and John looked sideways at each other

"Wait..no.. surely not" Anderson laughed

"What?" Sherlock asked

"Are you two?...No, i don't believe this." He laughed again. he paused for a few moments before continuing, "John you complete and utter slag"

Anderson fell to the ground with a loud thump. Sherlock stood there, clenched fist still shaking.

John approached Sherlock with Connor in his arms. "Well, what do we do now?"


	10. Now or never

Anderson groaned and heaved himself from the floor, he staggered to his feet and went to hit Sherlock back, he stopped when he saw that Sherlock was currently holding a gun to his head.

"Get out... now" Sherlock demanded

Anderson raised his hands and nodded

"I want to see my son, this isn't over"

With that Anderson left the apartment

"He will go straight to Lestrade, we will need to get their first" Sherlock got his phone out and sent Lestrade a text

_Anderson is on his way to you, don't listen SH_

_What? GL_

_We need to talk now, you me and John SH_

_Urgently SH_

After Sherlock had finished texting, he turned round to see John, he looked so distant, he had placed Connor back in his Moses basket.

Sherlock came and knelt in front of John.

"John...He won't come near you ever again, I promise"

Sherlock craned his neck to kiss John on his cheeky softly

John seemed to come out of his daze and smiled weakly at him.

"I'm going to have to face him at some point Sherlock, there is no choice, it's his son"

...

Lestrade sat with the men like they had done with Anderson, in the living area of the apartment.

"So what's this about?" Lestrade started

They looked at each other.

John began. "Anderson is Connor's father"

"What?!... You can't be serious"

"Deadly serious..." Sherlock replied

"He came earlier to see him, things got heated" John continued

"Yes I saw his eye" Lestrade responded

"did he say anything?" asked John

"No I don't think he knew I saw him, I was coming straight here like you asked.. So what did you need me now for?"

"If I know anything about Anderson he will go to you first and give you his side about how innocent he is, we wanted to make sure you knew our side first

"And what side is that exactly?" Lestrade asked

"The right one" Sherlock replied

Lestrade rolled his eyes and nodded

"Fine, fine, but I can't ignore Anderson, as much as I am with you two, I can't really afford to start taking sides, besides its unprofessional"

"No of course" Sherlock smiled

* * *

Anderson was sitting with his head in his hands. He was a new dad, to a child who he didn't even know existed until he was 2 weeks old. He still hadn't even had the chance to hold him. Anderson could have done John wanted what he did. He had always liked him since he met him, it was Sherlock the had the problem with not John. That night between them had meant everything to him, he thought he wanted it too, he thought it might be the start of something between them. But Sherlock… Sherlock had ruined everything, he had convinced John that it had been rape, that he was bad news, and now they were getting married? He couldn't just leave this, he had to do something drastic if he was going to get John back. Not that he ever had him in the first place. He had to get rid of Sherlock from John's world, it was the only chance he had.

He slid open his desk draw... He knew it could come in hand at some point...

He left his desk and left for his flat to get ready. It was now or never.

* * *

**I apologise this is so short, I had to put something up because you've waited so long, I can't wait to post the next chapter its nearly written :) you guys wont be disappointed!**


	11. I love him Sherlock

**Hit over 4000 veiws thanks guys :) Please check out my other fics too! x Again, a short one but didnt want to leave you hanging and i need to go out :) **

* * *

"John!, I'm just going to get some food do you want anything?"

"No you're alright, don't be long!" John replied

Sherlock spun on his heel and climbed on John who was sitting ont e sofa reading a book, "Eh watch it!" John said smirking

Sherlock gave him a cheeky kiss before he left for the shops.

John smiled and carried on reading his book, Connor asleep in his basket next to him.

John couldn't have been a happier man right now, he had everything he could have wanted, a fiancé who he loved to bits and a son who he couldn't be more proud of. he relaxed into his book, a warm feeling spreading through his chest.

...

Sherlock turned to walk down the alley that he did nearly every evening. When he heard a mans voice behind him say "Hello"

"WHo's there?" Sherlock spun round trying tos ee through the dark.

He could hear someone approaching him, he tried even harder to see, backing away slightly

"I think we are going to have a problem Sherlock. I thought I could carry on not thinking anything of the situation, but I was wrong."

"Excuse me?"

"I can't let this be Sherlock, you don't deserve him, he's worth much more than... you!"

"WHat are you talking about?"

"JOHN! I am talking about John and how you stole him from me!"

"WHAT?!"

"You know exactly what i am talking about, you have taken John and me son away from me"

"Sherlock just stared at him"

"I love him Sherlock..."

Sherlock stayed silent

"do you think he loves you? he doesn't, he knows you are reliable and you love him, he knows he is safe with you and you will look after him and our son."

"shut up Anderson shut up."

"Oh getting to you is it? Just leave him, leave him with me, i am good for him, i know what he needs, you are just pathetic, you don't deserve him! Anderson screamed"

Sherlock had grasped him around the throat and pushed him against the wall

"I-" Sherlock started, before stopping as he felt something... he looked down, Anderson's closed fist was pressed into his stomach, why did it hurt?

he back away

"AHhhh" he removed his hand from where the pain was, it was covered in bloody, he looked back up at Anderson to see him standing there holding a knife.

"Anderson"

Anderson walked forward and re-stabbed Sherlock in the same place, he twisted the knife deeper into the open cavity, Sherlock gasped, breathless.

Anderson swung again, stabbing Sherlock in his chest, Sherlock groaned, trying to fend him off, but the pain as incredible. He started to sink down the wall as the breath was taken from his lungs. Anderson swung again slashing Sherlock across his face before he took the knife and ran.

Anderson turned, leaving Sherlock for dead. He stopped and closed his eyes, thinking through his plan. I will go back, soon someone will find him, lying there, dead. then I will be there to comfort John, and he will see me for what I really am, everything he has ever wanted. It will be perfect.

Sherlock lay on his back, looking up into the night sky. All of a sudden he felt a hand in his... the attacker? "Whhhatchawnt" Sherlock senselessly groaned out.

Sherlock heard sirens as he began to fade out... "that was fast..." Sherlock thoguht to himself as everything went blurly

"Jhhhoonnnnnhn" Sherlock goraned

He felt the grip in his hand tighten, and pressure being put onto his wounds... He couldnt make out who it was...

He blacked out


	12. Donovan?

Sherlock lay on the ground, almost lifeless, the grip of his hand became only tighter as he continued to slip in and out of consciousness.

"Hey, don't fall asleep on me, you're going to be alright... just hang on" it was a womans voice

The sirens got louder and closer. He could feel warm blood running over his face, his hand fell to his side from holding his stomach where the first wound was located.

He himself fall out of consciousness again, he was so tired.

* * *

Sherlock woke to the sound of people bustling around him, after a few moments of trying to get a clear focus on anything, he managed to figure out he was in hospital. His head was killing him, why was he in hospital... Anderson!

"Hello sweetheart can you hear me" Asked one of the nurses

"Yes" Came a muffled reply through the oxygen mask he had strapped to his face

The doctors are just checking you over, you have been in hospital for 2 weeks love.

_2 weeks? Sherlock thought._

"Anderssson!" Sherlock slurred

"We know it was Anderson, he's been arrested" It was the same woman's voice he had heard who held his hand, he was sure of it.

He managed to look to the end of the bed where it had come from..

"Sally?" he croaked.

Donovan just about managed to smile back "You're lucky your brother looks after you, all that CCTV, keeping an eye on you. You would have been dead otherwise, the ambulance never would have made it in time if it hadn't already been called. "

Sherlock stared at her, still drowsy and confused from the drugs.

"John and Connor are fine, your brother is keeping an eye on them and... I have been getting some things for them like food and..." she trailed off when she saw his face

"Don't you look so surprised, just because we don't get on it doesn't mean i wouldn't help you"

It must have been the drugs, but Sherlock reached out and took her hand, he gave it a weak squeeze before his energy ran out.

Luckily we have had a higher level of security on the two of you since Anderson paid you a visit.

"Go back to sleep, your brother's coming to see you later. I think the nurse is going to tell you about your injuries"

injuries? he thought. Sherlock closed his eyes, unable to respond even if he could stay awake, he was juts so tired.

...

"Hang on why?" Sherlock managed to say, before he realised Sally was gone and the clock said a completely different time. He must have gone to sleep.

Why what? Mycroft approach him. How are you feeling?

"I don't know"

I don't suppose you would... you have had a ruptured spleen, punctured lung, and facial injuries. There will be some facial scarring but nothing too serious. You will be stitched uo for a while."

"Why was Donovan with me?" Sherlock continued to ask, pushing his injuries to the back of is mind where he could deal with them later.

"Today? she has been looking after John and-"

"No" Sherlock cut him off "Why was shetheree.." Sherlock began to slur, he had just been put on another drip.

Mycroft frowned at him, then suddenly snapped his fingers as he realised what Sherlock was talking about

"She had followed Anderson, she had been suspicious after she had seen him with the knife in his office, he was acting strange and he tried to hide it from her, but she saw it."

"I know you might not think it Sherlock, but I think that girl cares about you, deep down. If she hated you the way she let's on, she would have left you to die, and she wouldnt have told the police."

"Shhetooll... She told..." Sherlock slurred out

"She told the police it was Anderson who stabbed you and he has been arrested, he still had the knife on him at the time... idiot" Mycroft took a moment to think, before continuing. "You are lucky we have been observing you the way we did, you would have died"

Sherlock regained consciousness as much as he could before asking

"But... why did he..."

"What?" Mycroft asked

"Why didn't he cover his face, he wanted me to know it was him, if he was leaving me for dead he should have made sure I was dead before leaving"

"Sherlock only you could deduct your killers mind and criticise him for not killing you"

Sherlock smirked weakly

"HowwzzJohn"

"John is just fine"

"Connnoor?"

"They are both fine Sherlock, Sally and I are making sure they are OK, Lestrade is dealing with Anderson's case, don't you worry"

there was a moment of silence before Mycroft continued

"You need to get some more rest, I think John will be here tomorrow, he hasn't been well"

"WHat?JJohn"

"He's fine, maybe i shouldnt have said that... he has just been very worried about you..."Mycroft paused before sighing "He does love you Sherlock, I hope you are very happy together"

Mycroft turned and left Sherlock to go back to sleep.

Sherlock closed his eyes, determined to sleep until John came the next day... he didn't think he could go another day without him.

"Looveyoumycroft" Sherlock slurred before he closed his eyes one last time before falling into a deep sleep.


	13. I want a shower

Sherlock once again found himself fighting to open his eyes. How long had it been this time? He looked at the clock which was on the wall opposite, at least this could give him some sort of bearing. It said 8:45. He had no idea if this meant morning or evening. He could hear the bustling of other people around the ward, the beeping of other people's machines, as well as his own.

"Hey you"

Sherlock looked to find John smiling at him, holding his hand. He had some stubble and his hair wasn't combed. he looked rough, he looked tired, he looked worried. But he wouldn't have had him any other way, he was just so grateful to see him again.

"Johnnn!" Sherlock tried to sit up but hadn't got the energy

"No, no, stay where you are, save your strength... I've missed you, don't ever do that to me again"

John leaned down and kissed Sherlock on the lips, Sherlock managed to summon the strength to kiss him back.

"You've been so ill, I thought i had lost you"

Sherlock reached up and weakly stroked John's face

"You will be in here for a while longer until you feel better, at least your face is looking better than when i first came

"You were here?

"Of course I was, I've been worried sick... This is all my fault... if i had never..." John swallowed hard trying to hold back tears

"Then there would be no Connor... and no me and you" Sherlock added

John smiled and squeezed Sherlock's hand tighter

"When you are better, we are getting married, not a big 'do', we are going to the civil services and getting married, just me, you and Connor, on our own. Ok?"

Sherlock nodded sleepily. "John I'm so tired"

"You will be, they have you on a lot of painkillers and antibiotics"

"Thizz isn'tyourfault . Jhhohn" Sherlock slurred

John closed his eyes, once again fighting back the urge to break down

"I love you, go back to sleep, in a few weeks we might even be going home if you feel better, I've got to go, visiting time finished 5 minutes ago... matron will tell me off. I will be back tomorrow"

John leaned and kissed Sherlock again, he had already drifted off to sleep, he could sleep a happy man now he had seen John. He just wanted to get home

* * *

_5 weeks later_

Sherlock woke up, his own bedroom, his own bed, his own flat. He closed his eyes and managed a tired a smile before slowly sitting up. His wounds were still sore from the stitches and he had some bruising and scars, but he was home, that was all that mattered. He looked to his left to see John lying next to him on his front, face buried into the pillow. Sherlock smiled before lying back down.

There was no way he was going to be going on any case for a few months, he had to recover fully. Lestrade kept him busy by giving him things to analyse with his microscope and alibi's to go over, but he wouldn't hear of him coming off bed rest. He was scheduled to come round with Sally later to check things were ok.

"Sherlock?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you awake"

"Since I just answered you I would say yes"

"Cheeky git"

Sherlock sniggered as he started to wake up properly. "I want to get up in a bit."

John jumped out of bed and helped Sherlock to stand up. His stomach muscles weren't up to the job of sitting up and lying down by himself just yet, the doctor had said he must not strain himself. He was no longer drowsy since he was only required to taker paracetamol, much to everyone's relief, John felt like he had the real Sherlock back. After 6 weeks in hospital Sherlock couldn't have been happier to be back home, Mrs Hudson had of course been making a fuss, bringing him food, blankets, sitting watching telly with him when John did the shopping...

"Lestrade's coming today right?" Asked John

"Yes... about 2 I think..." Sherlock replied sleepily

"You need some breakfast, what do you want?"

"Not just yet...I'll have what you have later"

John couldn't believe how fast the flat life had gone back to normal since he had come home... everything was as normal, apart from the scars and the extra help needed by Sherlock with some tasks such as showering. However neither of them complained about this so far...

"What time is it?" Sherlock asked

"Er, it issss, 9:30am" John replied

"IS Connor asleep?" Sherlock asked again

John looked over to his sleeping son "Yes"

"I think I want a shower"

John looked over and they both smirked at each other

"We better not waste any time then eh..." John wrapped his arms around Sherlock from behind, kissing his neck delicately. Johns hands found their way under Sherlock's night shirt to trail up the sides of his ribs. Sherlock moaned slightly before he reached to cup the side of Johns face with one hand.

John started to suckle on that sweet spot behind Sherlock's ear, slowly tracing his tongue up and down his neck.

"Oh John" Sherlock moaned softly

They made it to the bathroom where John started to undress them both. He turned on the shower so it was nice and warm. Both men were now behind the shower curtain, Connors baby monitor just on the ledge outside. Bodies dripping wet, glistening in the light. John got some soap and started to rub Sherlock down, Sherlock's strong erection growing with each second. He moaned every time John's hand brushed his sensitive throbbing flesh.

"John I, I'm gonna cum" Sherlock whined

"Oh no you're not" John took his hands away and proceeded to slip his tongue into Sherlock's mouth, they kissed passionately for about 10 minutes until Sherlock reached down and grasped Johns erection. They both started to stroke each other slowly at first, building with pace as the pleasure grew and grew inside them. Hands running over each others slippery bodies, grabbing at each other, heats pounding in chests,

"John!" Sherlock yelled as he came, his body shuddering, his stomach aching from the strain on his muscles. John followed shortly after, shouting his lover name into his neck. They both rested into each other using the wall for support as they came back down from their climax.

There was a bit more kissing and fondling, before they heard Connor start to cry...

* * *

Sally and Lestrade arrived at about half 2 after a short delay due to traffic

"How are you?" Asked Lestrade as they sat down with him

"Better" Sherlock replied blankly

"We have all been concerned...we're not expecting you back for months, don't rush yourself"

"I can assure you I won't" Sherlock did his best to sound friendly

Sally leaned forward as if she was going to say something

"Go on" Sherlock prompted her to speak

Sally went to speak, but then changed her mind "no.. no it's nothing"

...

Lestrade was speaking with John in the kitchen about the upcoming court case regarding Anderson's trial, now Sherlock was well enough to attend.

"I still can't believe I slept with him, his wife never came back turns out she left him, and now he has raped John and attacked you."

"Sally..." Sherlock wasn't sure how to respond

Sally continued "I have known him and worked with him for so long I thought I knew him...I never thought he would do something like this..."

"Nobody could have guessed, not even me apparently..."

Sally looked up and smiled "I'm sorry"

"What for?"

"For calling you a freak, you're not, you are amazing" Sally didn't wait for a reply before she got up and turned round to leave with Lestrade

"Sally" Sherlock called after her.

Sally turned and went back to him, but not sitting down, she folded her arms.

"You couldn't have known what he was going to do"

Sally smiled briefly before turning again to leave, she stroked Connor's tiny hand in John's arms before heading for the car

"Well then boys, take care of yourself and Connor, I will be in touch, let us know if you need anything"

"Will do, thanks mate" John replied as Lestrade also left.

* * *

John came back to find Mycroft standing next to Sherlock, Connor in his arms. John hadn't really seen Mycroft smile before, neither had he ever pictured him with a baby...

"Oh, Sorry I didn't know you were coming"

"Neither did I, Sherlock asked me if wanted to see Connor, so I came...I hope that isn't a problem"

"No! no of course not, stay for as long as you like"

"How are you John?"

"Fine... I've just been to get Connor's milk..."

John looked towards Sherlock and nodded to ask if he was alright, Sherlock nodded back

"You can feed him of you want..?" John asked, half joking

"Oh I think I will leave that to the professionals" Mycroft smirked

As Mycroft moved towards John Connor spat up, a small patch getting onto Mycroft suit, it was only a small bit but John still froze.

"Oh Mycroft sorry about that..."

"Oh honestly I don't care John, always the risk you take when holding a baby anyway"

John relaxed a bit as he took the baby from him

"You've done a good job there John, to having him look so much like you, I suppose that's a blessing for you both"

John looked at Connor's face, Mycroft was right, anything that slight resembled Anderson seemed to be long gone.

"Well I must be off, take care of yourselves.."

John showed him to the door before turning to Sherlock

"Well you certainly kept your mouth shut, why are you being so quiet?"

Sherlock just looked at him

"WHat has Mycroft said?

"I told him we were getting married"

John closed his eyes "What"

Sherlock didn't reply

"Oh Sherlock I told you it was private"

"He does respect that John... he's my brother"

John sighed " So what did he say?"

"Nothing much, he says he's happy for us..."

"Well; I suppose that's something at least" John groaned

He took the bottle and started to feed Connor. After he had finished and Connor was back asleep in his basket, John moved over to kneel infront of Sherlock

"You are a nuescence sometimes.."

Sherlock smiled bashfully at John from under his floppy hair

John started to kiss Sherlock's lips, which grew into a passionate snog, tongues clumsy being shoved further down each others throats... Connor started to cry again,

Both men sighed, John kissed him one last time before he went to see to Connor.

...

As John sat there feeding his son, he was left alone with his thoughts.

The upcoming court date was the first thing that sprung to mind... Anderson was being held on account of rape and attempted murder. He didn't know if he could be in the same room as him again...


	14. The Verdict

**Is there a twist afoot ? who knows ;) I don't know Anderson's name as it hasn't been revealed so I made one up. I don't know how court's work, but I tried my best. Enjoy my little readers :)**

* * *

Anderson sat in his cell, waiting to be collected by the guards to stand in front of the jury, the judge, and a lot of people who all recently started hating him.

Un shaven, un showered, un fed for days. he wouldn't eat her wouldn't sleep he wouldn't wash... John

He stared at the wall opposite. John loved him, he knew he did. It WASN'T rape like everyone kept saying. john wanted it, he knew he did. He kept replaying that night over and over again. Every detail analysed, every sound from john, every time he touched him. It was NOT RAPE!

He punched the wall, he knuckles bleeding... he stared at the blood, dripping on to the floor.

Sherlock was always trouble... he was always trouble...

His thoughts were interrupted by the cell door unlocking. The guards ready to take Anderson away.

They took him by each arm after being handcuffed, his hands behind his back.

He just stared, straight ahead of him, ready for what was to come, the verdict to decide his life from now on.

* * *

John stood in front of the mirror adjusting his tie. Sherlock looked over to him, he had a funny feeling in his stomach that he couldn't shake. He didn't get nervous, it just didn't happen.

"You'll be alright John"

"I know I'll be alright, it's you I'm worried about."

John looked as Sherlock's face, he looked rough, he took both of his hands and squeezed them before kissing his cheek.

"We'll both be OK, Anderson will be in prison for a very long time."

Sherlock smiled, "I know he will.. better still, life"

Sherlock nodded, they left the flat for the taxi that would take them to the court where they would meet Donovan, Mycroft and Lestrade. They were leaving Connor with Mrs Hudson, since they couldn't take him with them.

* * *

"Jason George Anderson, you are being held here today for the attempted murder of Sherlock Holmes and the rape of John Watson."

As the attack was described, Sherlock started to relive each moment in the back of his mind, his skin started to sting as the adrenalin and the fear started to resurface. Sherlock winced, his fingernails digging into his knee. John, sensing his distress, reached and squeezed Sherlock's hand, giving him a brave smile. Sherlock relaxed as soon as he felt Johns skin against his own. John took Sherlock's hand and pressed it into his leg whilst rubbing his thumb over the back of his knuckles.

Sally was the first to be called to the stand

"Miss Donovan, I believe that you and Mr Anderson have been in the past, lovers?"

There was some murmuring amongst the jury

"I wouldn't refer to it like that exactly... We had a couple of one night stands, but nothing more than that"

Sally was shaking slightly as she started to explain what she saw.

"I found Jason in his office... I wanted to see if he was still there... when I saw him sitting at his desk holding the knife... I asked him what he was doing with it and he said he hadn't got a knife...his behaviour was off, he was snappy towards me and... he was just acting strange"

"So you're saying he was acting out of character compared to his usual behaviour?"

"Yes"

"Then what happened?"

"I thought nothing of it at first, but when I was driving home I saw his car parked outside Alley way on Gate Street... I thought he was still in thje car so I went to ask him what he was doing... but he wasn't there. I heard voices, in the alley, so I peered from round the corner and..."

"Go on"

Sally sighed

"And, I saw Anderson, attacking Sherlock with a knife. I hid behind the shrubbery when he turned to leave, I was scared he would hurt me too"

"Why did you not call the police?"

"I didn't have time, my phone was in the car, I was scared to move. There was only a few seconds between me getting to Sherlock and hearing sirens"

"Even though Miss Donovan claims she saw the attack, there is no evidence to suggest this. Maybe she wanted to get Mr Anderson back for using her..."

"Objection!" Shouted the defence

...

Mycroft was the next person to be called up.

"I have been monitoring my brothers activity for a long time now, because I do worry about his welfare."

"So how did you come to know about the attack?"

"My camera's could not see into the blind spot which was the alley that the attack took place in, however I highly suspected something was wrong when my brother did not come out of the other side for some time, and I worried since I had seen a man holding a knife enter shortly before him and not exit either."

"So what did you do?"

"I called for both the police and an ambulance, fearing the worst, and it turns out I was right to suspect"

"When you say you saw someone with a knife, did you have any clue to who that person was?"

"No, I didn't see their face, I did not know of Mr Anderson's existence until this trial, it is the first time I have seen him in person"

...

Sherlock stood at the stand, his legs feeling like jelly, he didn't get nervous, why did he feel this way. He started to feel his head spin, until he caught John in the corner of his eye. John gave him another one of his brave smiles before mouthing 'love you" This was all the motivation Sherlock needed to continue.

"Mr Sherlock Holmes, would you care to explain what happened, in as much detail as you can?"

Sherlock nodded

"In fact, lets start with the earlier visit to the flat before ethe attack, what happened ?"

Sherlock sighed and started to speak.

"Anderson arrived at our flat demanding to see Connor, claiming he had seen pictures and could see some resemblance in himself"

"And what provoked you to attack Mr Anderson whilst he was in your flat?"

"The way he was speaking to us, the way he was speaking to John, the way he spoke about John. In my defence, he wasn't exactly behaving himself, he was very verbally aggressive from the moment he walked in"

"So what exactly caused you to hit him and hold a gun to his head?"

"The fact that he called John a slag"

"Why did he refer to Mr Watson as a slag?"

"He realised that there was a relationship going on between John and myself, and that Connor had been stated as my son"

"So without consulting the real father, you and John Watson put your name on the birth certificate? To be honest Mr Holmes, that is enough motive for anyone to start name calling"

"We weren't really thinking clearly at the time, we just wanted Anderson to not have anything to do with us"

"Were you ever planning to tell Anderson about Connor?"

"I was urging John to do so, but he was worried at first about how to go about it. There was never any plan to not tell him"

There was a pause which gave Sherlock a chance to glance at his party, Sally, Mycroft, John and Lestrade.

"Now moving on to the night of the attack on yourself. Tell us what happened then"

"I had left to go and buy some food, I took the usual short cut through the alley on Gate Street, where I was confronted by Anderson"

"Then what happened?"

"He started demanding to see his son, he told me that John didn't love me, that he wanted a reliable father for his son"

"And what was your response?"

"I told him to shut up, I told him to leave us alone"

"Mr Holmes, what had stopped you from letting Mr Anderson see Connor so far?"

"The fact we thought he was a danger to Connor, he was aggressing and demanding, we didn't want to let him anywhere near him at that ,moment. I am fully aware that he has a legal obligation to see his son, and John had also made a point of telling me this too, but we were only doing what we thought was best for Connors welfare at the time."

"So what happened after you had told him to leave you alone"

"He continued to talk, but I can't remember much after that apart from waking up on St Barts"

"Ok, thank you Mr Holmes you may leave the stand"

...

John Watson... you claim that Mr Anderson invited you home from the pub, where you had already engaged in sexual contact, willingly."

"He kissed me, I would hardly call that sexual contact... I was drunk anyway"

"Yet you were able to make the decision to accompany mr Anderson back to his flat via taxi"

"Yes, but again I was drunk, I didn't really have much awareness of what was going on around me"

"So you accompanied Mr Anderson back to his flat, where you had a few beers and engaged in sexual intercourse?"

John sighed "Yes that is correct"

"Was that willingly?"

"Well since I had even more alcohol, I was very drunk and I wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't."

"Mr Watson would you mind explaining to the jury what happened to be classed as rape?"

"Well to start off with, again I was drunk, pinned to the bed and I said no several times, I would have pushed him off but I hasn't got the coordination, plus my arms were pinned down"

"How were you pinned to the bed?"

"Anderson was holding me by my arms"

"What happened after this took place"

"I can't remember anything else I must have passed out, when I woke up I left to go back to mine and Sherlock's flat"

"Right, so, did you tell anyone about this?"

"I didn't say anything to anyone until after Connor was born where I told Sherlock"

"What did Sherlock have to say about it?"

"He was shocked, he told me that I had to go to the police, and that we needed to confront Anderson, he dint make me do anything because he cares about how I feel, he was just going to let me do what I wanted to"

...

Anderson was the last to be called to the stand, to give his defence

"Mr Anderson, first of all let us start with the accusation of rape. Tell the jury what happened on that night"

"I was in the pub... I saw John sitting on his own. I was a little drunk since I wasn't driving. Most fo ym friends had left. I went to ask him what he was doing on his own. So we got talking, and I kissed him."

"And what did Mr Watson do about this action?"

"He kissed me back before agreeing to go with me back to my flat for a few beers"

"What happened at the flat"

"We had a few beers, before we went to the bedroom."

"At any point did Mr Watson express that he didn't want to go through with it?"

"He said no, but then he carried on kissing me, I did NOT... rape him."

There was a pause before he continued

"Moving forward to the night of the attack on Mr Sherlock Holmes, tell us what happened"

I wanted to speak to John because Sherlock wouldn't let me see my son, I hadn't even had a chance to talk to John properly."

"I believe you had already tried this before?"

"Yes I went round as soon as I realised how much the baby looked like me. When I did go round that one time, Sherlock hit me and held a gun to my head asking me to leave"

"Was this a provoked attack?"

"It was after I had called John a slag"

"There was some murmuring around the room before Anderson continued"

"I was on my way to go back to try and get John on his own, so I could maybe see Connor for a bit, when I bumped into Sherlock in the alley way on Gate Street."

"What happened in the Alley?"

"I told him I wanted to see my son, that he was controlling John and putting bad ideas in his head about me, he didn't like it so he grabbed me around my throat... that is when I stabbed him...it was in self-defence I thought he was going to kill me, he had already attacked me before holding a gun to my head"

"Why did you have a knife with you in the first place?"

"In case I was attacked again, I realise it was a stupid idea now, but it turns out I needed it, he would have killed me if he got the chance"

John screwed up his face in anger, but stayed silent

"Mr Anderson you stabbed Sherlock several times, not just the once to fend him off, you also slashed his face, this does not match a self defence"

"I don't know what happened, I just kept remembering him holding the gun, I wanted to make sure he couldn't come after me after I left the alley"

"you could have called for help you were near a busy pub and a bus stop"

"I didn't think... I just went back to my flat, I didn't know what to do"

* * *

They were dismissed from the court room whilst the jury spoke about their verdict

John and Sherlock sat on the bench together, Sherlock's long arm wrapped around John's shoulders, whispering something into his ear. John was trying to put a brave face on.

Lestarde and Sally were talking, standing opposite, Mycroft on his own, sitting down on the opposite bench

After 2 hours they ere all called back in to hear the verdict.

They all sat down, feeling nervous, it was a complicated case an they weren't sure which was the jury were going to go. Sherlock looked down at John next to him and took his hand in his own.

The jury came back in and took their places, as one member of the jury stood to read the verdict.

"What verdict do you find the defendant?"

"Your honour, we find the defendant..._Not guilty"_

Sherlock just sat there, staring Anderson down.

Lestrade, John and Donovan all rose from their seats.

Mycroft closed his eyes, reached forward and squeezed Sherlock's shoulder.

Sherlock just sat there, and closed his eyes.


	15. I will protect you

There was the sound of scrambling keys at the door before John stormed into the flat and went straight up to sit on the sofa, head in his hands.

"Oh sweet heart what's wrong?" Mrs Hudson cooed

John began to sob into his hands.

"Oh poppet, here you go, he's slept nearly the whole time"

John immediately reached out and took Connor into his arms

"Thank you Mrs Hudson" John sobbed

"Any time dear, he has been good as gold"

Mrs Hudson turned as she heard Sherlock come up to the apartment. His face was blank, no emotion, no expression.

"Sherlock, what's wrong?"

Sherlock couldn't answer her, he couldn't speak, he just stood there motionless.

"Come on dear sit down, I'll make you some tea"

Sherlock still didn't move

"Come on now Sherlock you're scaring me"

"Sherlock looked Mrs Hudson in the eye before sitting down like she had asked

"I take it things didn't go as planned?"

"Not guilty" John shouted

Mrs Hudson spun round to face him

"What? Well I never.. I mean... But Sherlock he tried to kill you!"

"Not according to the jury he didn't!"

John looked up at Sherlock who hadn't said a word since the verdict had been given.

"Are you ok?"

Sherlock still didn't respond

"Mrs Hudson, would you be able to take Connor, just for a short while whilst I sort him out please?" he gestured towards Sherlock

"Of course dear, he's no trouble... you just give me a shout when..."

"Thank you"

Mrs Hudson took Connor down stairs to her flat, she loved to have a fuss over the baby, she loved him like he was her grandson

John closed the door of their apartment before turning to Sherlock, who was now sitting with his face in his hands.

"Sherlock..."

John approached Sherlock cautiously when he finally spoke

"He'll be back"

John stopped mid walk, his face fell, he hadn't thought about the fact that Anderson was now a free man, he could be anywhere, waiting.

"Then we will call the police and get a restriction order"

Sherlock just stared straight in front of him.

"Sherlock..."

"I'm scared John"

John was a bit taken a back, he hadn't found Sherlock scared since the case of The Hound of Baskerville. He wasn't even too sure what to say, or do.

"Sherlock, we'll be fine, anyway I-"

"I'm not scared for me, I'm scared for you and Connor, you are priority, you can't stay here John, he'll be back here soon"

"Where do you suppose we go? Run for the hills?"

"I will have to speak to Mycroft about raising out surveillance" ... Words Sherlock never thought he would ever find himself saying

They both froze as they heard foot steps coming up the stairs

Knock... knock... knock..

Sherlock picked up the gun from the kitchen table draw. He slowly made his way over to the door. He looked back at John, who had braced himself, and opened the door.

Sherlock let out a sigh of relief and lowered his gun.

"Mycroft!" John exclaimed "Jesus"

"I take it I wasn't expected?" Mycroft asked

"We thought you might be Anderson" John explained

Mycroft turned to see his brother shaking

"Here, give me the gun" Mycroft offered his hand out to take the weapon from his shaking hands

Sherlock handed his brother the gun, a sheen of sweat forming on his brow, he sunk down to the floor and held his head in his hands, one knee hunched up to his chest.

Mycroft watched as John came to sit next to him on the floor, wrapping his arm around him and kissing the side of his head.

"Come on, he's not coming here any time soon, besides we couldn't have had a better visitor"

"Mycroft smiled ad he reached down to squeeze Sherlock's shoulder"

"Anderson isn't here, he is in his flat, he is packing a few things I believe he's going somewhere, we have him under strong surveillance...if anything changes you will be the first to know"

Sherlock didn't reply to either men, they looked at each other

John noticed that Sherlock's hands were still shaking.

"Why don't I wait in the other room" Mycroft offered

John nodded as he continued to try and sooth his fiancé.

"Sherlock" John whispered "You need to start talking to me about what's going on in that head of yours, you can't always leave me in the dark"

Sherlock gasped, raising his head after rubbing his eyes. Had he been crying?

Sherlock sniffed loudly before pulling himself from the floor

"Where's Connor?"

"Mrs Hudson has him don't worry, I'll get him back if you want"

Sherlock nodded "Please"

John gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before he left to go and fetch Connor from downstairs.

...

Sherlock sat with Connor lying on his chest, he held him close, taking in the baby smell that he had become so familiar to.

"Sherlock I can assure you, that man will never harm you, Connor or John. If he even tried to approach you, I will know about it and he will have me to deal with"

John nodded, he looked to his right where Sherlock was sitting. "Come on you need to talk to us"

Sherlock sighed, he opened his mouth to speak, but then decided against it. Looking down protectively at Connor instead

"I think that's the best were going to get for tonight Mycroft, thanks for coming"

Mycroft rose from his chair "I will keep both of you informed at all times of Anderson's actions, I will do my best and more to keep you all safe"

John looked up at Mycroft "Thank you, we appreciate it"

...

After Mycroft had left, Sherlock finally started to speak to John

"We need to be ready for anything John, Anderson wont just leave this alone, he will be back" Sherlock said as he lowered Connor back into the basket

"Look Sherlock Mycroft just said he has him on high security, we will know if he tries anything" John tried to reassure him

"But will we John? We have to think of all the possibilities, not just put all of our trust in one person"

Sherlock jumped up, running his fingers through his hair and looking out of the window, then spun back around to face John.

John shook his head in bewilderment "Where has this even come from you were an emotional wreck a moment ago you wouldn't even speak to me!"

John walked towards a now nervous John, taking him by each arm

"John, I swear to protect you, no matter what, do you understand?"

john sighed "Yes, Sherlock, I know, but there really isn't anything to worry about"

Sherlock gazed deep into John's eyes before kissing him square on the lips.

They gave up discussing anything more, since they weren't getting anywhere, and went to bed.

* * *

Anderson sat on his bed, showered and shaven, the picture of Connor on his phone, he stared at it. He had the look of a mad man in his eyes, staring... staring.

If this was going to work, he would have to be even more careful than he first thought.

Nobody was going to keep him from his son.


	16. Guilt

_1 month after the trial_

Connor's cries could be heard throughout Baker Street, Sherlock was walking up and down the flat trying to sooth him, John was making some well needed tea.

Things had relaxed a bit since Anderson hadn't turned up, with Mycroft's close eye on him it meant they could both at least feel safer.

Sherlock continued on his 100th lap of the apartment, jigging Connor up and down on his shoulder, he had already been sick down back twice. He jumped when he turned round to see Mrs Hudson standing in their door way... He had to start remembering to lock that door.

"Hello Mrs Hudson, sorry about Connor, we-"

"No I wont hear of an apology boys, he's a baby, they cry... why don't I take him for a bit? You look so tired and I doubt you had any sleep after last night"

Sherlock looked at John

John shrugged, "We wouldn't want to put you out, we accepted the responsibility when-"

"Oh enough of that everyone needs a little help sometimes I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't meant boys" Mrs Hudson came closer top Sherlock gesturing to take Connor.

Sherlock looked back at John again and shrugged

"That would be great Mrs Hudson, thank you." John sighed

"Thank you Mrs Hudson..." Sherlock smiled weakly, almost on the floor from how tired he was.

"You juts give me a shout when you have had a rest boys" Mrs Hudson turned to leave with Connor

"We will do, thank you! "John replied

Mrs Hudson then left for her downstairs flat.

John and Sherlock both collapsed into the sofa sighing heavily, Sherlock rubbing his face groaning. They slouched in silence for a few moments, relaxing. John turned his head to say something, but realised Sherlock had gone straight to sleep. John smiled and rested his head back. He felt so tired, he couldn't help feeling a sense of guilt, Connor was his responsibility, he couldn't just pass him off to someone when it got 'too much'... He sighed and wrapped his right arm around Sherlock's shoulders, nuzzling his nose into his brown curls, inhaling his scent.. he felt a rush of warmth wash over him, it felt so comforting. He felt content, looked after, safe... it wasn't long before he too was asleep with his head on Sherlock's shoulder.

* * *

_Several hours later_

John awoke to find Sherlock already up and boiling the kettle at the same time as putting the washing on. He could tell that he'd had a shower, his hair was still damp. John closed his eyes for a moment longer to listen to the washing machine start its cycle, he smiled to himself before sitting up. He listened to all the sound going on around him. Clicking of mugs, rustling of packets, rumble of the washing machine. He hadn't been able to just hear... life, for a while, not since he had Connor. He felt so guilty to even think such things, but it was true, it was so quiet, peaceful, he was determined to make the most of this small space of time they had left to themselves.

"Awake?" Sherlock shouted

"Hm?" John replied stretching "Oh, yeah..am now" John sighed resting back before saying "Oh, Sherlock we really should think about getting Connor look at the time"

Sherlock looked up at the clock and nodded, he continued to make them both some tea whilst John hauled himself up from the sofa, he pulled on his shoes and made his way down the stairs to Mrs Hudson's flat kissing Sherlock's cheek on the way out.

He opened the door, closing it softly behind him, he made his way down the stairs, turning left when he got to the bottom, he reached to knock the door. He stopped. He stared at the broken lock, the wooden door with signs of damage, where wood had been forcefully scraped off... he stared though the gap, as the door was slightly open, he could just about see an older lady's hand, outstretched on the kitchen floor, scratches on her wrist, her thumb nail broken, he lowered his gaze to the floor around her.. it was a mess, her calendar had been ripped from the wall, half was still attached, whilst the other half lay near her hand. After about another minute observing the scene that he could see before him, he worked up the courage, with shaking hands, to push the door further open, almost immediately he began to fall to the ground, his knees hit the cold floor first, he managed to steady himself against the wall. Mrs Hudson lay before him, covered in scratches and bruises, her clothes were torn... Connors blanket loosely clutched in her left hand.

* * *

John lay in Sherlock's arms on their bed. The curtains had been closed for the past few days. He was torn, devastated, heartbroken. He had done nothing but sob into Sherlock's chest for the last 5 hours that they had lain there on that particular day. Sherlock hadn't said a word, he just sat there, silent, staring at the wall, phone in his hand. They knew there was nothing they could do. Mycroft came round every day. He also hadn't got much to say, he was doing all he could, they knew that. He wasn't sure what to say in case it was the wrong thing. Sherlock could just prepare himself for johns emotions each day, be the 'rock' Johns comfort, his support.

Connor had been kidnapped, Mrs Hudson had been admitted to hospital, John and Sherlock were both on the verge of a serious breakdown and Mycroft was stricken with guilt.

Nobody had any idea where to start looking for him, there were no clues, no witnesses. The member of security who was monitoring Anderson at the time using CCTV, had been found passed out on the floor next to his chair, but on arrival at the hospital,. there was nothing wrong found with him, no injury no medical condition, nothing abnormal in the blood test...

Mrs Hudson had been sitting quietly, Connor asleep in her arms, when she heard a knock at the door, when she didn't answer right away, they had started to kick the door in, wrenching the lock open, breaking it in the process. They had grabbed her, beaten her, she had fought with all her strength to keep Connor close, but they managed to wrench her from her grasp.

Sherlock nuzzled Johns hair with his nose and chin, pressing soft silent kisses into his scalp, neither of them had any words for each other. It was their fault, they had let their own son out of their protection because he was... crying.

"He's gone Sherlock" John sobbed

"John we will get him back." Sherlock was trying his best to sound positive

John stayed silent

"John you know he is doing all he can.." Sherlock was referring to Mycroft, who had been doing all he could, he wasn't sleeping, he wasn't eating, he knew that this was also on him for not doing his best to protect them.

"He was crying, he needed us, and we let him out of our sight because we were tired.. And now he's been taken from us forever."

Sherlock just sat there, mouth closed, he knew nothing would be the right thing to say anymore.


End file.
